Oct 9, 2009

Something Major

My parents are divorced.

There, I said it. It's not that I'm struggling with the divorce or anything, it's just not something you bring up in polite conversation.

Hey! How the heck are ya'?

I'm so glad you are doing great. What a lovely dress you are wearing!

Oh, this ol' thing? I've been wearing this for years. It's amazing it still fits! But since I guess it's a circus tent, it'll fit no matter what size I am.

Soo.. my parents are divorced.

See what I mean? You just can't pop it out into the conversation. It's awkward.

My parents have been divorced for almost seven months now. Divorce is rough. Even going through it as an adult, it's tough. No one ever wants their family to break up. I know that in some cases divorce is necessary. When there is abuse or extreme infidelity sometimes it's better to just cut ties and move on. I believe it's unhealthy to stay in a relationship where those types of things exist. There was no abuse in my family growing up. Emotional maybe, and there was certainly neglect but nothing that we couldn't overcome. My parents needed to get divorced. They were married for 24 years and it was time. They were both miserable, unhappy and mean. They just couldn't be the best versions of themselves when they were with eachother. So as hard as it is to have my family break apart and go through emotional turmoil, I honestly believe my family is better off this way. Truly.

This past weekend, I not only found out my dad has been dating someone seriously, he is now getting remarried. I wigged. Seriously. I found out at work and sat in front of my computer all day repating "Oh...my...gosh" over and over. Sometimes in my head, and sometimes out loud. I spent the day going through the range of emotions: shock, disgust, anger, sadness.. Then I read a funny post by PW and like that *snaps her fingers*, I was over it. So what he's getting remarried? It was bound to happen someday. On October 24 I'm going to have a step-mother and three younger step-brothers. Not only am I accepting of the marriage, I'm actually going to the wedding. Talk about progress! I haven't talked to my dad in roughly a year. Not a peep. It's going to be weird to see him. My lil' brother Ethan and I are just going down for the day, cause I think that's all I can handle. We don't want too much progress here people.

Good thing I've jumped onto the weight loss band wagon. You know I can't go down to San Diego to a wedding on the beach lookin' like a blimp. It's just the way life is.

13 comments:

Regina said...

Oh my gosh Caitlin! I am so sorry. You already know my parents are divorced, so I totally 'get' what you mean by the family being better off. I really get it. I would have a difficult time with the remarriage being so quick, but you are right, it was bound to happen. You are a tough cookie.

Sarah and Alex said...

Hey that's hard I'm sure. I believe it's just as hard for an adult as it is as a kid. I'm glad you have a wonderful husband to help you through this stuff. :) Plus you are brave as it is.

Pierce and Stacy said...

I'm so sorry, but you seem like you're handling it really well. I don't even know what I would do in that situation. Good for you for being a big person and going to the wedding. I'm sure your dad will appreciate it.

Meagan said...

i'm super impressed, i know you've been having a hard time with this, so i'm glad you are doing better!

you and ethan are welcome to stay with us if you need a place to stay!!

Meagan said...

i'm super impressed, i know you've been having a hard time with this, so i'm glad you are doing better!

you and ethan are welcome to stay with us if you need a place to stay!!

Jalei & Lane said...

I'm so sorry to hear this about your parents. You have a very mature attitude about it! Stay strong & be open to new things because they're gonna come.

The JAMC Johnsons said...

Wow...that's gotta be tough. I'm sorry. But, as other commenters have said, you seem to have a pretty positive attitude. It's super hard to be the better person...but it also can help you feel better. : )

Penni said...

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with some big things in such a short amount of time! I'm glad you have been able to accept the changes and it sounds like you have some great support in your life.

Michelle said...

Good for you girl!! And on the plus side you get to visit beautiful San Diego. Who knows, maybe that wedding will be on that beach that you loved so much from one of my families photos!!! :)

Kelley Hauck said...

How very brave of you. I imagine it will be hard seeing your Dad with another person, but I think you are making important steps in the right direction by going. Good luck.

AC6DG said...

If you need some where to stay for free for the night we have an extra bed and a couch that makes into a bed. We are only two hours from San Diego and on the road between Utah and there. Uncle Nyles

Monty and Kristin said...

I love your honestly! You rock. I appreciated your blog. Monty's parents are filing for divorce right now. They too have been married 24 years, but have decided they are better off without each other. I'm thankful for your perspective. Good for you for going to the wedding. I'm proud of you. It's the right thing. You're my hero.

melissa-brad said...

first off, i cant tell you how sorry i am. i can't even imagine. second-i seriously applaud your bravery..something like this takes a warrior, and third off, your humor seems like it could get you through anything in this life. and what a gift that is.